Sunday, March 8, 2009

I just realized i've really been slacking in updating my blog lately...and to be honest i really can't be bothered with writing much right now...sorry! But I'll try to share a few highlights from the past few weeks.

Being here has been quite an experience. I'm getting used to living in this crazy house...which is odd to say! There are still times when I just wish i could get away from the noise and have my own private personal space for a while...but overall it's been okay. My roommates are all pretty silly girls...we mostly just see eachother at night before bed and randomly throughout the day in classes and such but we haven't spent a whole lot of time just hanging out together. so this week we decided to have a little room date and i cooked mac and cheese and rach cooked fish sticks and some breaded chicken. We ate our little dinner and just hung out in the room for an hour or two playing music, sharing stories and laughing far too much. It was definitely good bonding time.

Last week was a really rough week for me. I was really upset and just felt really broken. To the point where I really was getting frustrated at God. I've been blessed with a huge heart and it's great, i love loving people and wouldn't want to be any other way...but because i care so much about everyone, even people i've just met i get hurt a lot. People just aren't as genuine and sincere as I'd like to believe they are. I guess last week a lot of things from my past were coming back and I was just realizing how broken my heart has been...and how much i've been hurt the past few years. It was really frustrating for me and i just didn't understand why God would give me this gift and then let it hurt me so bad. I just felt like it was so unfair that God hadn't protected me from some of the pain. I know my calling in life is to love people, and share God's love with them...and i was terrified of getting to a point where i just got sick of it and decided to toss that gift and that calling aside.

But then this week came along, and i got a lot of encouragement from friends at home, and here in england. And my goodness this week has just been the complete opposite of last. God has been revealing himself to me in so many ways it's just blown me away. He's opened so many doors i never even knew esixted. And He's shown me that last week when i was hurting and was busy complaining and getting frustrated with the Lord he was there the whole time working in me and around me. It just blows me away sometimes how faithful God is...even when we least deserve it! I'd really been asking God to teach me to follow him, and teach me to guard my heart...and that was exactly what he was doing through letting me hurt.

It was amazing cuz in women's D this week Nancy was teaching us on "How to Follow God" but she wanted it broken down in baby steps because so often people just say, follow god and you'll be alright. but many of us (ME ME ME!) don't really know how to go about following God. And as she taugh I just saw point after point falling in place with what i had been going through last week and where i'm at now...of course I still have so far to come in learning what it means to follow the Lord, but I have faith that he's there walking with me, teaching me as I go. How good is our God?! just blows me away the things he's doing in me and my heart, and the things i see him doing in my friends at home, and the other students here.

God is soo good :)

anyway, moving mom mailed me my rice paper, brushes and ink this week so i can get back to painting! I've missed it, and i'm so glad to have something to keep myself busy with. When I'm not in classes I feel pretty trapped inside sometimes. I miss my car, and being able to go for long walks by the river or hiking badger mountain. I guess i just miss washington...oh what i would do to be in the mountains right now!!!

Other than that things haven't been too exciting, i've just been busy trying to catch up from the few days I missed when I was really sick. I think I'm finally all caught up which is nice to know! Now if only I could kick the sick! It's been almost three weeks now and i'm still not over this cold!

my new best friend....guitar, the Vietnamese bamboo just got here yesterday...and incase you can't tell by my expression here I'm soooo excited to learn to play it!

my favorite little spot to sit and write, draw, and sometimes just think:

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