I love how no matter how stubborn I am and how hard I try to ignore God tugging on my heart strings sometimes he always finds a way to meet me where I'm at. It's been a rough few weeks, an absolute emotional roller coaster. And as usual I've held more in than anyone should ever bottle up. It was about time for a good relief....if only I'd stop being stubborn and just turn to my Jesus in the first place I would really save myself a lot of trouble. I just wonder sometimes, if I get it wrong enough times will I finally learn to get it right and turn to Him before anyone or anything else? I sure hope so because this is getting old, fast.


I'm just thankful that no matter how many times I stumble and fall my Jesus is ALWAYS there to catch me


Anyway, I'm reading this awesome book called Save Me From Myself by Brian Welch from the band Korn. I've never been a follower or listener to Korn so when Matt mentioned I should read the book I really didn't think I'd get into it. Boy was I wrong. It's an awesome testimony to just how good God is. It's real, and raw, and moving...and exactly where God met me tonight. Here I was reading, trying to calm myself to sleep, and words are just flying at me from the pages...pulling on my heart and eventually moving me to tears.

So after a good breakdown, a good cry, some sweet sweet music and an even sweeter chat with God I think I will sleep soundly tonight for the first time in a while.


I can't wait to get to York Saturday. I need this, I need to grow, and be around people who want to do the same. I need a small group, an emotional, spiritual support team to sit and pray with me, and some good worship time. I hope you all know the love of my Jesus. He wants to be yours too, and to love you more than you can ever imagine being loved.

sorry it's short and sweet tonight...but as it's nearly 3 am here i need to get some sleep so i can be well rested for my last day in warrington tomorrow! : ) I'll try to actually get out and take some pictures and such if I manage to get up early enough tomorrow. I love and miss everyone back home, I think about you all the time and can't wait to come home to you! And with that I'll leave you with some amazing lyrics that really spoke to me tonight...



Hold My Heart by Tenth Avenue North


How long must I pray, must I pray to You?
How long must I wait, must I wait for You?
How long 'til I see Your face, see You shining through?
I'm on my knees, begging You to notice me.
I'm on my knees, Father will You turn to me?

One tear in the driving rain,
One voice in a sea of pain
Could the maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breaking heart?
One life, that's all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You're everything You say You are
Would You come close and hold my heart

I've been so afraid, afraid to close my eyes
So much can slip away before I say goodbye.
But if there's no other way, I'm done asking why.
I'm on my knees, begging You to turn to me
I'm on my knees, Father will You run to me?

One tear in the driving rain,
One voice in a sea of pain
Could the maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breaking heart?
One life, that's all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You're everything You say You are
Would You come close and hold my heart.

So many questions without answers, Your promises remain
I can't see but I'll take my chances to hear You call my name
To hear You call my name

One tear in the driving rain,
One voice in a sea of pain
Could the maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breaking heart?
One life, that's all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You're everything You say You are
Won't You come close and hold my heart.

Hold my heart, could you hold my heart?
Hold my heart.