sometimes i'm glad no one reads this thing.
i don't have to worry about being vulnerable or holding anything back.
i can just release. which is exactly what i'm about to do.
and i'll probably look back in 24 hours and laugh at myself for being so silly...

but here goes...


my heart hurts. an ache i haven't felt in a longtime.
can you have a broken heart even if you haven't given it away to be broken? Or maybe that's my problem...maybe i gave it away without meaning to.

This is the problem with being a dreamer. When you believe in great things, and that people always have the best intentions it's hard to not get swept away easily by people and opportunities. The trouble with dreams they just don't come true nearly often enough. Sometimes our dreams are replaced with something bigger and better. But when they aren't we're left feeling the disappointment of a shattered dream. And as painful as that can be, I never want to stop dreaming...because there is nothing better than watching a dream come true!


I think I'll leave off with this, lyrics to the song that best describes where i'm at right now.


Trouble with Dreams by Eels:

There's nothing that i wanna do
More than get alone and be with you
Trouble with dreams is they don't come true
And when they do they can't catch up to you

You don't need a thing from me
But i need something big from you
'cause you know i've got
An awful lot of big dreams

I'm walking down a lonely road
Clear to me now but i was never told
Trouble with dreams is you never know
When to hold on and when to let go

If you let me down it's alright
At least that leaves something for me
'cause you know i've got
An awful lot of big dreams

This is the life that i must lead now
Crossing fingers and wiping brow
Trouble with dreams is you can't pretend
Something with no beginning has an end

You don't need a thing from me
But i need something big from you
'cause you know i've got an awful lot of big dreams